What Do You Want?

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What do you want in 2017? I’m sure you’ll agree that this is perhaps the most ubiquitous question many are asking as we approach the New Year. Although some of us should ask ourselves this question more often, we find it inevitable at the end of the year. So, as you consider the answer, my wish for you is that you’ll be selfish this year—dream big in your desires for 2017!

I once read a story of a man who was an invalid for 38 years. One day, this man come into contact with another man in his community who was believed to cure people of their diseases. Upon meeting the invalid man, the healer asked the sick man, “What do you want?’’ Instead of being direct in his answer, the sick man started to tell of how none of the community members helped him.  I recall thinking to myself, who cares who didn’t help you, the healer didn’t ask you for your story, but rather for what you want?

Well, I wish I could say I’ve never been in the sick man’s shoes… but clearly I would be lying. I have discovered that human beings have an inherent need to self-sabotage themselves.  By self-sabotage I mean, have you ever said you want something, and then when the very thing you wanted showed up you started to work against receiving the very thing you said you wanted?  Happens at the subconscious level unbeknown to your conscious mind.  Funny isn’t it?  We all have been in the invalid man’s shoes at one point or another.  Why does man feel the need to wallow in his issues instead of rising above them? I have no idea, but according to Tony Robbins, “your state, your story and your strategies” are what’s keeping you from breaking the cycle.

I confess I have done this more times than anyone alive, but I’ve since discovered how to break the cycle. It took years to do so coupled with willingness to push myself, thank God for coaches. Frankly, I still need help in some areas though I have learned the art of figuring out what I want and actually going after it. If you are a mom or teacher, you know that to get your kids motivated to do something, say pick up after themselves, it requires giving them the same command over and over, plus encouragements, rewards and strategies that give certain cues to the brain to act accordingly. It’s hard work in the starting phase but it is attainable if there’s a routine to it.

So, beside being clear on what you want, you may also want to be aware of the following ‘inner world cues’ if you want to overcome self-sabotage behavior.

1. Thoughts:  James Allen noted, as a man thinketh so is he. If you are always engaging in thoughts of defeat and self-loathing, chances are you’ve a rough time feeling capable or worthy. Start the New Year by embracing a new way of thinking. Think, I am joyful, peaceful, loving, friendly, kind and soon you’ll begin to feel as such.
2. Speech:  Whether you know it or not, your thoughts informs your speech. Why we often say things like I feel bored, I feel sad. Note, to be bored or sad, you must have triggered those emotions by engaging in an act that gives your body stimulus to be in that state. For example, to be mad, you would have to be influenced by an act to react or enter into a state of being mad… you just don’t become mad.
3. Understanding:  Your worldview dictates the way you see and interpret circumstances around you. If you tend to be optimistic, you probably see a glass half full than a glass half empty in your perspective of things.  Likewise, if you’re the type that always sees what’s wrong in people or things around you, you may want to embrace a new way of seeing people/things in the New Year.

Regardless of what you want in 2017, remember that growth and progress are innate desires built in every man’s well being. Therefore, choose what you want carefully, get help if you must, and believe that you’re capable to yield the type of results that you want. And as you begin to step forward in the right direction, know that though it may be hard to start you’ll eventually get there if you stay the course. I believe in you, and I know you are capable of going after whatever you choose to go after.  Thus, let go of your excuses, stories, adopt new strategies and be a visionary—dream big, go big in 2017 and beyond!

What do I want in 2017?  I want the best for you, most of all that you would value your time, and pursue meaningful work/endeavors that yields you fulfillment!  Want to share your answers?  I would love to read them, feel free to write in your answers in the comment below.

Carolyne helps professionals gain CLARITY around building a meaningful career. A speaker, author of Being Grounded: 21 Days To Come Alive and Love Your Life, and a contributing writer for various publications. To schedule your 45 minutes complimentary session with her, you can write her at carolyne@vpfstrategies.com